The Beauty of a Locked Door

When the door loudly clicks shut, and the lock bangs together securely, it's a sense of panic that spreads, pouring from the heart and soul of the newly admitted child or teen, and floods over the desks and chairs and hearts and souls of the nurses who stand there, watching, scanning, assessing every move, every word, and everything that isn't said, but is communicated, loud and clearly from the face of our newest addition.

This message is this,

"I've lost control."

Yep. People in general don't come to a locked facility for no reason. Things have gotten bad. Not just bad, but really BAD.

And just like the shock and disbelief that occurs with the sudden death of a loved one, the click of the locked door and the loss of control is a VERY hard pill to swallow...(excuse the medical pun).

Everyone reacts to this loss of control in slightly different ways. Some kids are relieved. Some are enraged. Some don't care, and rather, it's their parents who have relief...and rage.

But more often than not, a hot piece of pizza, a glass of juice, and movie in their room to appease them for the next few hours until sleep, is enough to help them through this traumatic break from their safe and secure* surroundings of home.

*not always-hence the reason for many children to be admitted in the first place.

So, why the title? The BEAUTY of the locked door? It sounds pretty traumatic to me actually, you might say.

Well, to me and to the other incredibly talented nurses I work with, this locked door is often the foundation to our success.

After all, a locked door ensures a "captive" audience. I'm not sure if the word CAPTIVE has ever been used so aptly.

Using the "carrot" of discharge, and the obviously inevitable unlocking of the locked door is the tool used to gain the attention of even the most angry, most bitter, most engraged, most oppositional, and most dangerous of all children.

And so it is to you the family member that I honor with this entry. For you don't have the luxury of a large locked hospital door and a swat team of security guards waiting your command.

You are on your own. (JUST DON'T FORGET MY DISCLAIMER. CALL 911 IN AN EMERGENCY!)

Once a child realizes he or she is going to be staying with us, a new mentality takes over. It's amazing what happens to a teenage attention span when there is no mall, no facebook, no cell phone, no school friends, no running away, no video games in the bedroom, and no tv to distract them.

In our little slice of uninterrupted heaven...we actually teach them something!

And it is with this securely locked door in place that we as psych nurses are able to do the amazing things I've seen us do. Change lives. Reach out. And of course...Say It Like It Is.

Welcome to Saying It Like It Is: Support For Families

Hi and welcome,

So yes, here we are with yet ANOTHER blogger with ANOTHER attempt at sharing opinions, advice, and persistent and possibly far-fetched suggestions for making this world a better place...

Yep, you are correct.

So, why bother? Because this blog is hopefully going to give you useful tidbits of information from the eyes and ears of a family-focused professional.

I am NOT a licensed therapist. I DON'T have a degree in psychology or cognitive behavioral therapy, or have a wide range of therapist/counselor/life coach letters behind my name.

So who am I?

I am a Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Registered Nurse. I have worked in a child and adolescent hospital unit for 5 years and have put together a wide variety of useful tools (I think...) that should be provided to everyone, not just to those families and kiddos who have undergone or are undergoing hospitalization.

I finally got tired of asking myself this question...

Why should you have to wait till things get to the point of hospitalization before you learn some valuable tools and tips for improving your family-life?

Parenting, communication, conflict resolution, stress management, dealing with naughty behaviors, dealing with broken trust, drug and alcohol use, threats of self harm, threats of harming others. These are all items that I can offer suggestions and tips on.

Again, I am NOT a therapist. I recommend that people utilize and find a therapist/counselor/life coach that works for them.

My disclaimer is this... NEVER take my advice or suggestions as an alternative to calling 911 or going to the Emergency Services when you are concerned for yours or someone else's safety.

EVER.

My advise is for when things are NOT in crisis mode.

If you or your family are in CRISIS, PLEASE call for help.

The stigma of reaching out and receiving mental health services should NEVER outweigh the benefit of getting the help you need. EVER. Nothing is more important than your life or the life of your loved ones.

The Stigma of mental health issues needs to become a non-issue.

So lets talk...

If you have questions or concerns you'd like me to address, please feel free to build an anonymous profile and post your questions. Chances are VERY likely that the questions and struggles you may be having are VERY similar to someone else's. YOUR bravery could save another family.

This will be an ongoing dialogue.

And again, welcome.